The awkward things you read on facebook {chapter 3}

Welcome to {chapter 3} of the awkward things you read on facebook. This was actually MY Facebook post that I’m sharing. Yes, this actually happened to me…

And yes, the lady was dead serious…

And yes, it’s ok to laugh.

The following is a legitimate conversation i had with a visiting lady who came to Reformers Unanimous last Friday night. Seriously, this is almost word-for-word in its entirety…

her: *trying to figure out what language was written on the chalkboard* “I think it’s Arabic…!”

me: “no, that’s definitely not Arabic. I’m sure of it.”

her: “you know, Jesus was Arabic!”

me: “no, Jesus was a Jew — that’s what the Bible says.”

her: “I know the Bible says He was a Jew, but I believe He was actually an Arab.”

me: “why do you think Jesus was Arabic?”

her: “God told me.”

me: …? O_o

her: He was actually born as an Arab, and then He later moved and lived with the Jewish people so that’s why everyone thinks He’s a Jew… but He’s actually an Arab.”

me: …? O_o *turns to workbook and continues reading.*

***{45 minutes later…}***

her: *looking at my nails* “you know, purple’s the devil’s favorite color. he created the color purple. and man created the color black. you shouldn’t wear purple nail polish to church…”

me: “how do you know purple was created by the devil…?”

her: “because God told me.”

me: …? O_o

her: “and because man created the color black… you know, God didn’t create black people either. man created black people. somewhere some white guy got mad at another person and decided to teach him a lesson, so he turned him black. and that’s where black people came from.”

me: “…and how do you know this…?”

her: “God told me.”

me: …? O_o

her: “and that’s why there’s not gonna be any black people in heaven… because God didn’t make them, man did. God told me that too.”

me: …? O_o

her: “and after man created black people, he started creating black animals…”

me: …? O_o *slowly started to walk away*

so my questions for you are…

on a scale of 1-10, where does this convo rank on the “awkward scale”…?
what crazy things have other people tried to convince you are true because “God told them”…?
has God ever “told you” anything (outside of the Bible)…?

You can read {chapter 1} HERE and {chapter 2} HERE of the awkward things you read on facebook.

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Posted on September 25, 2012, in The Awkward Things You Read On Facebook and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. I don’t now about “awkward,” but it gets an 11 on the “crazy scale.”

  2. Amen, Brandon! And it’s right up at the top of the “funny” scale too, not to mention the “not to be taken seriously” scale.

  3. So, do Zebras get halfway into heaven?

  4. OK. This is a good place to share what happened to me last night. No…maybe not.

    However, I have come to a new conclusion regarding race issues. Some people are fond of saying stuff like, “In God’s eyes he see only one color.” Or, there are other people who say, “We should be color blind.” If that is so, then why did God make crayons in so many different colors? Hmmmm?

  5. Now I know why I’m not on Facebook!

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