those we deem “worthy”…

I came across this on the internet a few weeks back and thought it would be interesting to share with you all…

The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for our church leader.

Noah: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.

Joseph: A big thinker, but a braggart; believes in dream-interpreting and has a prison record.

Moses: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator – even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.

David: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor’s wife.

Solomon: Great preacher, but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.

Elijah: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.

Elisha: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.

Jeremiah: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things; reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.

Isaiah: On the fringe? Claims to have seen angels in church. Has trouble with his language.

Jonah: Refused God’s call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.

Melchizedek: Great credentials at current work place, but where does this guy come from? No information on his resume about former work records. Every line about parents was left blank and he refused to supply a birth date.

John: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn’t dress like one. Has slept in the outdoors for months on end, has a weird diet, and provokes denominational leaders.

Peter: Arrogant, brash, and lacking self control. Often speaks without thinking and claims to have walked on water.

Paul: Has a long record of torchering and murdering people. Physically impaired, and claims to have actually heard THE actual, audible voice of God.

Jesus: Befriends prostitutes, hangs out with publicans, and bashes religious leaders. Often wanders off into the mountains or quiet gardens. Claims to be three people all at once – seems a bit schizophrenic.

I wonder which of the people on this list we would have turned away from our churches? Who would we have deemed worthy or unworthy to serve Christ? Who would we have denied time to preach in our church’s pulpit?

I’m glad God can see through all the rubble and mistakes and use a person regardless of his past.

Can you think of any others that could be added to this list?
How would you describe them?

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Posted on February 15, 2012, in Christian Life, Christian Service and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I hear you finally settled for Judas. Good choice! I hear he’s good with money.

  2. That’s good.

  3. Jeremy Wakefield

    Thanks for sharing. This was a great read. Very thought provoking…and somewhat humorous. Something to chew on.

  4. Well done! Fun! But also sobering.

    Just for example, consider Joseph. The way God put him at the top of Egypt’s government is one of the most inspiring stories we’ll ever read. But it was a good thing God did that, and that the Egyptians didn’t have to vote for him. He’d never have won – or, if he did, he’d have been recalled.

    Why? Think about these examples of the reasons – then ask, would I have voted for him?

    1. He wasn’t even a citizen.
    2. In fact, he was an illegal immigrant.
    3. He’d only held two jobs in his life. He disappeared from the first without notice and was fired from the second.
    4. He’d had no government experience at all.
    5. He was serving a prison term for attempted rape, and there was no new evidence he was innocent.
    6. He would impose a new tax of 20% of everyone’s income – on top of whatever taxes they were already paying!
    7. He favored the government seizing all of everyone’s land and property. (all this summarized from my unpublished book manuscript, “Activating the Forgotten Commandment,” at http://www.sparkleofnature.com; please use only with permission.)

    OK, be honest. Would YOU have voted for him? I know he’d have to have been awfully persuasive to get MY vote. Maybe this shows we shouldn’t just vote for people based on a few “surface” facts, but DIG and find out what’s really true.

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