Emotional wreck.

I know you’re all probably expecting posts about the Missions Trip I just got back from, and I promise they’re coming… next week?

But today, I have something else on my heart. Actually, it’s more like consuming my mind. Since last week I’ve been an emotional wreck. I don’t know if it’s due to a lack of sleep, medication, stress, caffiene… I’m not sure. But I tear up at just about anything these days.

Music. Prayers. Sermons. Testimonies. Pictures. Facebook posts. Happy children. Love. Stress. EVERYthing.

Stressed? What could I possibly have to be stressed about? Well, for one, I’m stressed over my health. I know the Lord is in control, but it’s frustrating to be tired all the time because of mono. It’s frustrating to still be having pain almost 7 weeks post-surgery. I’m stressed over finances. Let’s face it… I’m slightly broke. I have school books that need to be paid for, but there’s not enough money in my account right now. Oh yeah, and classes start next week. I have pre-assignments in classes that are due this week that I cannot do without books. *sigh*

I’m stressed because my schedule is about as overwhelming as a flood. I’m taking 6 classes this semester (19 credit hours), working full time, serving in various church ministries, and attempting to stay as healthly as possible.

Sometimes I question whether or not I’m borderline depressed. But that’s a weakness… and I don’t like to be weak. I don’t really even like admitting that I have weak moments. But lately, I’ve been having a lot of them.

So what does a person do when they get like this…? I know, I know… pray more. read your Bible more. sleep more. watch your diet. exercise more. do something for others. just let it all out and cry.

Do you ever get “down in the dumps” like this?
Are you ever an emotional wreck?
What do YOU do when you start to feel this way?
What Bible verses and music do you turn to in times like these?

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Posted on August 26, 2011, in Personal and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.

  1. it’s funny that you say you tear up over random things… i have NEVER been a crier! honestly, i used to wonder if i was just cold-hearted and “non-emotional” because in church, or while watching a movie, or at a funeral, or at a wedding, or [insert sad situation here] i was always the *only* person/girl NOT crying. here lately, i can be listening to a song on the middle tennessee baptist choir cd and someone starts shouting, and i sort of feel like laughing, but i tear up at the same time. lol! i’ll admit, i’m a little stressed too – church, work, buying a house, $$$ – it’s all blahhh! i’m trying to just not worry and trust the Lord that He knows what He’s doing, and He’s in control. it’s a liiiittle frustrating though when you cut out ALL spending other than bills, groceries, and gas trying to save and then *WHAM* (ahem) one of the people in this family gets pulled over and given a ticket for an expired tag that we overlooked. that’s one of those “smack yourself in the forehead” moments!!!… i’m looking forward to reading some answers people give. might help me too!

  2. “So what does a person do when they get like this?”

    You ask for others to pray for you. I will.

  3. Wow! I get taxed by adding a puppy (wife’s desire) into my schedule. I read the list of things in your life (school, job, church, recovering from surgery, mono, money stressors) and I’m exhausted. And I’m just reading it, not living it.

    When I’m overbooked (which isn’t often these days), I retreat and rest. When I can’t do that, I watch lots of USA Network stuff and play way too many mind-numbing computer games. Lately I’ve made the better choice, retreat and rest.

    • I would love to retreat and rest… the only problem is that I really can’t retreat and rest from anything on my schedule at this time. Everything I’m doing NEEDS to be done…

      Perhaps if I just learned to pace myself… nahhh… ;P LOL!

      Thank you for the comment!

  4. I don’t think it’s considered weak to admit you’re depressed. Sometimes it’s easy to get depressed when life gets a little too tough for us. I know I get this way sometimes. Struggling with school is something I can assuredly understand. My final semester at New Orleans Seminary, I took 21 credit hours. It was horrific, but I really wanted to go ahead and graduate. I encourage you to do the things you mentioned. Pray more, rest more, enjoy God more. But, most importantly walk in the Spirit. Obey God on a moment-by-moment basis. He’ll see you through the rough times, even if they ever seem really overwhelming. I write this as I need to be reading it myself. I need to take my own advice. It’s hard. I guess we all need to help each other and know that God is in control.

    • I can understand just wanting to be DONE with school – I’m there. Hence, the 6 classes I’m taking this semester. Of course, it doesn’t help that I was out of school for one year while I dealt with all the health issues I had. If it wasn’t for that, I’d be done with school already… *sigh* LOL. But God knows what’s best, and He always has a plan and a reason behind everything that happens in our lives.

      Thank you for the encouragement. Take care.

  5. One of my favorite songs is “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real. It has been helpful, especially when I get down and emotional. It might make you cry, though. 🙂 I’ll be praying for you, and just remember that you can do ALL things through Christ which strengthens you. (Just applying Philippians 4:13 to you personally…) The only other thing you can really do is pray and know that God provides and He has a reason for you going through whatever it is you’re going through. Prayers are being sent your way!!
    ~Sara

    • “I can do all things through Christ…” Amazing verse. In fact, my C&C class just finished a series of lessons on that very topic. You would have thought that I’d pay more attention during the classes… ;] LOL!

      Thank you for the prayers – you are very sweet.

  6. Your post sounded like it was a page from my own life, so please don’t feel like you are alone in this situation. Know that you have “friends” from around the world (many of whom you have never met) who will be praying for you. It might be hokey, but I’ll do it right here. I was reading an article last night about how it is often helpful for others to hear you pray for them.

    Lord,

    You know that Heather is having a difficult time right now. There are many things on her plate and she is feeling overwhelmed by them But we also know that You are a powerful and sovereign God and You are not surprised by the things she is going through. Please help her to focus her eyes on You and not the things going on around her, to trust You and not her own strength. Please provide others who will also pray for her and give her the grace she needs to make it through. I thank You that are listening to (or reading) my prayer and I know that You are already acting on what I have asked.

    In Your name, Amen.

  7. I’m with ya! I started my college classes this week, and it has been crazy! I have a Bio prof that is still choosing to give us a test even though no one has books (because they have not come in). He is just saying… “Use your notes.”

    • It is very stressful to have a teacher that isn’t helpful at all. Seriously, if we KNEW the information already, there would be no need to take the class… right!? So then WHY do teachers treat you like morons when you ask questions of get an answer wrong? Poor “teaching” skills, if you ask me.

  8. Psalms. I live in the Psalms when I have these times. I chuck my regular Bible reading schedule & soak myself in this one book. I find a special chapter & work on memorizing it & write verses on a card to read when I start to tear up at anything & everything. Just my thought…Love ya, girl!

    • I do love the Psalms, and that IS usually where I turn when I get like this. Although, I don’t usually just focus on one chapter – I’m going to try that though.

      Thank you, love. ❤

  9. I have a book I REALLY want you to read. I amworking through it in my devotions and is amazing!! It is called Preparing for Peace by Steve Curington. I guarantee it will open your eyes to things you NEVER would have seen or understood before! It is a great blessing. Louis gave it to me, and I think I have thanked him like five times already. Seriously! You so need to read it!! As soon as I am done, I will pass it your way.

    Intil then, one thing I found helps me is a good cry and prayer. I don’t mean the stereotypical prayer. I mean going to God and crying out to him, unleashing my emotions! It helps! And praying for others always takes my mind off of my troubles too. Just ideas….

    I of course will be praying for you my dear! You are always welcome to call me if you nees to chat. I may not always have the answers, but I can always pray with you.

    • Thank you, Rachel. I believe I’d like to read that book. Although, I’m currently in the middle of about 4 or 5 books (almost done with one though!!) – one of which is a Steve Currington book. Eventually I’ll get them all read and post reviews of them.

      Thank you for the prayers.

  10. I can understand. I have had two weeks off from school in almost two years, personally been out of work for a year and been looking while my wife has been underemployed at best during this time, our roommates (we share an apartment with another married couple) are underemployed, our lease is almost up and we need more income to be allowed to even stay or to find another place to live, our car keeps having new and improved problems, and we are kicking off three new ministries at church in the next couple months (of which my wife and I are big parts in getting this done).

    All that to say, we understand. So does everyone else who has commented! God is faithful. He is taking care of us. Believe it or not, I am torn over being sad and overjoyed that I am finishing my core classes with my current class (ends next week), because I leave behind the classes of theology and church stuff which is awesome to learn to pick up the mundane electives (7 more classes and I am done!). It will be easier on my schedule which is amazing, but I will miss the tough theological/moral/biblical issues I have been facing every week for two years!

    I think this is why God let me hear “our song” today (see my blog. I am just about to post it!).

    Much love, Heather! He has us all in His mighty and loving hands!

  11. Ok. Time for a different perspective.

    It is never intrinsically spiritual to burn the candle at both ends. Saying that more prayer is the answer scares me. Why? Because prayer isn’t the answer: the One to whom you are praying is. Extra prayer will never replace obedience to the guidance He has already given.

    Too many times we literally nearly kill ourselves try do to too much too quickly. Does God not already know the number of our days? Rest was a command, not an option. No matter what excuses we give for trying to burn the candle at both ends, doing so much it makes us sick is disobedient and unwise. Learn to say NO!

    • That is advice I know I should take as well as you Heather! He is wise!

    • Yes, even my pastor has said to me: “You know, Heather, it’s not unspiritual to take a rest from time to time. Say no… even if it’s my family that’s asking you to do something – say no. There are other people that can do the job for a time.”

      Thank you for the advice, Pastor Baker.

  12. A few years ago I heard God telling me very clearly to rest. But I couldn’t. There was pressure from every direction; family, church, work. Everyone seemed to want more of me. I tried to meet all of these demands, but eventually because I didn’t rest God made sure that I did. I suffered depression for the first and only time in my life. I couldn’t leave the house, I had panic attacks, and many other unpleasant symptoms. But God used that time to rebuild me and He poured out His grace on me, changing me further. The whole process is recorded in my prayer journal and when I look back I cannot understand why I did not listen to God telling me to rest. But I marvel at what He did in what appeared to be a dark time in my life, but in reality was not as I spent more and more time in His presence. Praying for you.

    • I don’t know that I would call the place I’m at right now “depression”… because I’ve been there before (earlier this year), and this time is nowhere near like that time was.

      But I can definitely say that it is heading that way if I don’t do something about it, and quick.

      Thank you for sharing that testimony in your comment, and for your prayers. I’m blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people in the blog-world.

  13. Even though I have a masters degree, I’ve never been thrilled by the lecture format employed in most college classes ever since the Middle Ages (which, I believe, is when that format came into common usage). I enjoy the conversational give-and-take of sharing ideas (thus the enjoyment of blogs and the accompanying comment section).

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