The awkward things you read on Facebook {chapter 1}

I’m starting a new series today that just might go on until this blog is… um… dead? The title’s pretty boss though, eh? “The Awkward Things You Read On Facebook.”  Epic. *fist pump*

If you think my blog is psycho, you should probably avoid my facebook page at all costs (feel free to friend request me at your own risk; you’ve been warned).

I have well over 2100+ friends connected on my facebook page, and to answer the question that is on everyone’s mind right now – no, I don’t know them all personally. Here’s my rule of thumb: if someone friend requests me and has at least a couple mutual friends, I’ll accept their request. If someone friend requests me and we have no mutual friends at all, there better be an explanation waiting in my inbox otherwise they’re getting denied. Sorry, that’s just how I roll. Oh, and of course, I’m allowed to friend request anyone I want to. ha.

Despite the fact that we’re all pretty much strangers, I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and say that probably 96% of them are Christians (or at least claim to be). With that said, there’s a lot of people out there standing on their soap boxes (like me), sharing their opinions with everyone and anyone who will read them (like me), trying to come up with the next most amazing post ever written (like me). Below is a post that fits all three of the aforementioned categories… and it was writting by… a man. *all at once now: aaaaawwkwarrrrd!*

I’m copying and pasting his entire note (completely unedited) so you can get your fill of the awesomeness. Let your joy be full, your souls renewed, and your minds made wiser for reading this.

PMS. Does that mean “Please Mom, Stop!” or “People, Make Space!” or, actually- Premenstrual Syndrome.  Why do women get it? What should men do when it visits? Fasten your seat belts, read on and see.

Most people know that the “female issues” (no, that’s not a tacky pun) started in the garden of Eden. The woman and the man disobeyed God and mankind fell into sin (Gen 3:6). And it is common knowledge that the curse put on the woman was Genesis 3:16: “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

“Greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception” – So the woman received sentence of frequent sorrow (menstruation, labor pains and hard delivery) and gets pregnant too easily (in general).

Some will say, Gal 3:13 “Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:” And they’d be right. Yet we don’t receive all aspects of that deliverance yet. We still have the body of this death for a training devise (Rom 7:24).

So, what then? The scriptures teach us how to lessen, if not completely diminish the negative consequences by our walk. 1 Tim 2:15 – “Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.”   “she…if they…” The effects of the monthly cycle and frequent untimely pregnancies are lessened proportionate to your (not just her) walk with the Lord.

Now here’s the how to do it: Most husbands, dads and families of a PMS troubled woman (can you say that on FB?) go with the ever popular: “I just stay away from here during that time” or “Good time to go visit my friends” or some witty, avoidance comment. This (hang on guys) is contrary to what you should be doing.

Here’s why it’s happening: When Adam sinned he knew what he was doing. Eve did not. She was deceived because of a poor control of her emotional decision making mechanisms (1 Tim 2:14). That is why he put her under her husband’s guidance Gen 3:16b “and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”. This is reaffirmed in the new testament (1 Cor 11:3).

Not one to leave bad enough alone and not want to fix it, the LORD intentionally gave the woman a timed, monthly exercise. (Don’t whine! You get 3 weeks without it.) Each month emotional stability (a relevant term) is taken away and emotions and hormones fluctuate and are magnified.

This is not meant to be a thing to get through and avoid dealing with. This is a specific exercise to be confronted head on. The woman and the man (if one is in the picture) are to work out! That is, exercise not being moved or subject to these emotions. If the woman can gain the emotional control during those PMS times she will experience milder periods as well. If you ignore it rather than directly confront it you miss as opportunity to be on the same page as the LORD, earn reward and make spiritual progress.

Strengths are made best by direct resistance training. Fight back!

Ok, guys… I know your minds are just reeling with awesome thoughts right now. Even if it’s just a reactionary thought, or a sarcastic remark – I want to hear it. Make me laugh, seriously… otherwise this post will probably make me cry (again).* and no one wants that.

To the guys/husbands out there: Do you agree or disagree with this fellow?
To the women/wives out there: Got anything you’d like to add or correct?

Oh, and for the record – if you are connected with me on facebook, be careful what you post on your page… you may find it in a future “chapter” of this series. *mwuahahahaa!*  ;]

* I never actually cried over this post. ever.

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Posted on August 12, 2011, in The Awkward Things You Read On Facebook and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. Of course I don’t agree with him, but I don’t think he really believes it, either. I think he’s trying to be funny.

    His theology is off, too, but that’s another discussion.

  2. And I just sent you a friend request 😉

  3. I never believed in PMS. I don’t even believe in women, actually. They are not real. They are only spiritual entities (not human) put here by God to test man (made in God’s image and likeness).

    The reason we have gotten this all wrong is based on a misunderstanding of the Genesis narrative. The woman, Eve, was brought about in a “dream fashion,” not simply when Adam was asleep. Because he complained about what he didn’t have, even though he had everything in the garden he needed, God gave man what Paul called a “thorn.” Eve, and all women after her, were given to train men for heaven, or at least appreciate it when they get there.

    So, the writer of that post has it all wrong.

  4. I’m not quite sure what to say to that. Heather, you have stunned me.

  5. I would really hope that he wasn’t serious because well . . . come on, really? I may agree about the part that the physical part may have been a part of the judgment on Eve along with labor pains (I really have no idea!), but the rest of it, really? If only getting through it made it better the next time. So. not. true. ~sigh~

    I do agree, however, that men should not run the other way (especially husbands) because women need extra love/care at that time. It is especially hard for the many that have extra health problems on top of the normal stuff, which makes it almost unbearable physically and emotionally.

    I think God just made women’s bodies intricate, complex and special! 🙂

  6. Wow. Apparently someone has too much time on their hands. (I mean the dude, not you.) I’m sure he was sincere, but…okay, I won’t say anymore.

  7. Wait a minute…..
    How is Heather writing this when she is supposed to be in Costa Rica, eh?!
    Seeeeeeee! I knew something was different about her! She is NOT human, afterall!

    • Bahahaah!!
      It’s called “scheduled posting.” LOL. It’s a pretty awesome gadget — i schedule-post all of my blogposts. :]
      Shh… if you tell anyone my secret, I’ll have to hunt you down…

  8. ROFL to both Heather and A.C. Baker.

  1. Pingback: The awkward things you read on Facebook {chapter 2} « Grow Up!

  2. Pingback: The awkward things you read on facebook {chapter 3} « Grow Up!

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