Guest Post: Perfectly Flawed.

cut ruby gemstone with inclusions

A Perfect Wife

There have been times, in moments of frustration, that I have begrudged my wife’s perfection. During moments of self-loathing, I see her as the one who never does wrong, even when she messes up. Frankly, she’s irritating.

However, according to my wife, she is not perfect, but flawed in every way possible. She refuses to think of herself as perfect, and resents it when I think she is. What she may not realize is that even though she may have flaws, her flaws are perfectly designed. She is perfectly flawed.

A Perfect Proverb

Proverbs 31:10 says that the value of a virtuous woman is “far above rubies.”  What most people do not know is that the most valuable gem is the ruby, far exceeding the value of diamonds as the size of stone increases. A 3 carat ruby, for instance, could be 10 times more valuable than a 3 carat diamond. Larger rubies are significantly more rare than large diamonds. Is it any wonder the verse asks, “Who can find a virtuous woman?”  Virtue is equally rare.

But when one looks at a ruby, it may be hard to determine whether or not it is genuine or synthetic. Outward beauty is not everything. Natural rubies contain threads of a mineral called rutile. Also called “silk,” the rutile is something that cannot be put into man-made rubies. As a matter of fact, if rubies are found upon inspection to be perfectly clear, such as a clear diamond, odds are they are either synthetic, or have been modified.

Amazingly, unless they have been chemically or heat treated to increase their clarity, some rubies have the ability, because of the rutile, to reflect light in a way diamonds cannot. Some rubies have the ability to show a 3-point or 6-point asterism, or star-like reflection. This effect is best seen when reflecting a single light source. Again, this is because of the “flaws” within.

A Perfect Analogy

It doesn’t take much of a gemologist, rocket scientist, or plastic surgeon to figure out why God compared a virtuous woman to a ruby. She is valuable beyond comparison. Even though she is flawed, her value is not decreased.  She may not be perfect, but when submitted to the glorious light of Jesus, she can beautifully reflect the majesty of the Bright and Morning Star.

Women all over the world battle with self-worth. They are constantly under pressure to conform to man-made standards of beauty. From Hollywood, to New York; from the rich doctor, to the no-good boyfriend; too many women derive their sense of value from men – men who have no clue what true beauty is. Oh, if women could only see that God never intended for them to be “perfect,” just perfectly flawed.

“Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 KJV

Dear sister, your value is not based on your ability to do everything right. Your beauty is not determined by cultural standards or expectations of men. Your worth is based on the fact that Jesus made you for His glory, and you are most beautiful when you reflect Him.

But my wife still irritates me. Even with her flaws she’s still perfect. I can’t win…or maybe I did.


About Anthony Baker

Husband, dad, pastor/preacher/teacher, musician, and Time Magazine's Person of The Year in 2006 (no joke!). Loves coffee (big time), good movies, and sarcastic humor. His tombstone will read, "I Can't Believe He Actually Said That!" Most importantly, a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. All glory belongs to Him.

Posted on June 23, 2011, in Guest Post and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Beautifully written, A.C. Loved it, had my wife read it (she loved it too), and plan to pass it on to at least one friend who’s struggling with some of the issues you brought up.

    My family are all mineral collectors, so we’re familiar with rutile – except we’re more used to seeing it in agates from around Nipomo, California. And I don’t remember us every finding a ruby, though we have found a half dozen or so pink sapphires.
    God bless you. Always enjoy reading you. Am glad Heather Joy put you on.
    ‘ put pu

    • Thanks, Pete (and family). I am no mineral expert, but doing the research on rubies nearly made me shout (well, actually I did) a few times. It is one thing when we try to make comparisons or stretch analogies too far or too thin, but it is awesome when you find one that was divinely intentional. The decision to compare a virtuous woman to a ruby was nothing less than Sovereign in its scope. One could safely suggest that God even made the ruby just for this purpose.

      God is GOOD! Makes me want to love Him even more.

  2. I may not be a wife yet, but this really encouraged me.
    Thank you!

  3. I proposed using Proverbs 31 so that my wife would know how I thought of her. She knows I do not think she is perfect, just perfect for me.

    Interestingly, we have used the analogy that she is the precious stone and I am the gold ring that supports her. Both of us need work and refining, but we have little to no purpose unless on (in) the hand of our Lord.

    Excellent post.

  4. I am not married, but I have been a wife. I am content in my single life now, but this post was just so amazing I had to share it with my other friends, most of whom are married and need to read this message. That verse, about the Rubie and the wife was all God..and perhaps he did create the ruby for just that comparison. Great post. your wife is blessed to have a husband who treasures her as you so obviously do.

  5. Dear Esther is an interactive story told through a first person adventure setting. There’s very little gameplay to speak of, just a deep mystery about the deserted island you’re walking on, along with unanswered questions surrounding a horrific crash and a book written by a long-lost explorer. What happened in this dreary place? And, better yet, can you find a way out?
    Dear EstherTalking too much about the plot of Dear Esther ruins half of the experience, so this article is going to remain delightfully spoiler-free. All you need to know is that the game follows a standard first person control layout, using to march around and the mouse to look at things. You can’t jump, you can’t run, you can’t pick up things and stash them in an inventory. All you need to do is walk around the island, investigate the sights, and breathe in the story.
    Dear Esther began as a mod for Half-Life 2 back in 2008. It received almost universal praise for its design and atmosphere, sparking an overhaul that improved the graphics and tweaked the level layouts. The project continued to grow until early 2012 when the completed version, reviewed here, was released.
    Dear EstherAnalysis: Dear Esther is a slow game that doesn’t try to satisfy your craving for action, high scores, achievements, or bacon collecting. It’s an experimental, minimalist game that focuses on storytelling and light exploration, giving you the chance to settle down for an honestly intriguing tale. Everything from the writing, voice acting, and linear walking paths keep you focused on the story at hand. Dear Esther is an empty world, and because of that emptiness, you’ll find it easier to step inside the protagonist’s shoes and experience the game first hand.
    Citing any faults in Dear Esther is tricky, as most of what players would consider drawbacks are intentional limitations imposed to keep the game (and the player) focused. The walking speed, for example, is barely faster than a crawl. Any faster, though, and you wouldn’t notice the little details strewn about the land. The path you follow often feels like a simple walk from point A to point Z, but there’s no puzzle to solve or task to complete, so you’re not supposed to worry about things like that!
    Dear Esther is an unusual experience, but it absolutely succeeds at what it sets out to do. Atmosphere, setting, emotion, and story are the pillars its world is built upon, and as soon as you start the game and see that flashing red light in the distance, you’ll want to see it through to the end. There’s only about two hours of play time, but if you kick back with the lights low and headphones on, it’s better than any movie you could 3d online

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