The way time flies.
I promise I’m not going to make a habit of posting more than one time a day. This week is just a little “different.”
I love movies that involve fast cars. Or Vin Diesel. But usually, the two of those go together. Where Vin Diesel is, there’s usually a fast car somewhere close by; where a fast car is, Vin Diesel’s usually hanging around. That’s been my biased observation anyways. :]
I love speed. I love the adrenalin rush of going unnaturally fast. I love the wind swooshing by. I love the white-knuckle grip of the steering wheel. I love the fast pace.
But there’s one thing I wish I could slow down… time.
Today is my birthday. Today I am 23 years old. I feel like I was 12 just yesterday. My mother’s in denial. And my dad has a hard time remembering how old I really am – to him, I’m still his baby girl. Mom remembers the little girl with long, wild brown hair and crazy amounts of energy. My brother remembers the tomboy who was constantly trying to one-up him.
At the end of 2009, I posted a note on my old facebook. The theme of the note was time, the gift that it is, and how quickly it passes. I’m reposting said note (completely unedited) for you to read…
When Did We Stop Being Little Girls and Start Being Women?
It’s been a long time in coming, but I think I finally realized that I’m growing up. I’m no longer that little girl who ran around in pigtails with her skirt accidentally tucked up her underwear. I’m no longer that tomboy that once thought she was so cool for whipping boys’ butts in sports. I’m no longer that rebellious teenager who was too cool to actually *need* to listen to her parents’ advice.
Long gone are the days of being irresponsible – no cares in the world, except to do my homework, eat my vegetables, brush my teeth before bed, and do my assigned chores. Long gone are the days of relying on my parents for everything – bills really ARE a part of the real world… who knew? Long gone are the days of letting everyone else plan things for me, drive me here and there, and wash and iron my clothes for me.
When I was a little kid I couldn’t wait to grow up and be “on my own.” Boy, I was so stupid back then. My plans were all laid out by the time I reached 12 years of age. I was going to move out when I turned 18 if I didn’t get married right out of highschool. I was going to go to Cosmetology school and be pretty much the most awesome person ever at that job. I was going to get a Yorkshire terrier and name her Princess – and dress her up in pink foo-foo sweaters. True story, folks. I have journals upon journals of all this information. Now… I’m content to live at home with my parents, I don’t want a hairy, smelly dog, and I never went to Cosmetology school (and honestly, your hair is probably a lot safer for it).
Make-up and sexy shampoos and lotions were such a dream to me as a little girl – now they take a heavy toll on my paycheck. Boys were my buddies when I was younger – now every time one looks at me I want to kick him where it hurts and inform him that I know “exactly what he’s thinking.” Suspicious of everything and everyone – I guess that’s what you get when you’ve been screwed over one too many times.
My mom used to always tell me that one day I’d actually care about my physical appearance and want to look pretty and smell like expensive perfume – I laughed. Please, just give me a pair of basketball shorts, an over-sized t-shirt, a ponytail, and my skateboard. It’s not hard to admit now though, she was right.
I never dreamed that my “arch enemies” growing up would one day be two of my best friends – I’m talking about my parents. My dad used to tell me: “My job right now is not to be your friend… I’m your dad. One day though, I’ll be your best friend.” I used to sarcastically smirk as I’d shake my head at him every time he’d say that. But now I smile, because he was right. I put them through a lot of crap… I’m surprised they didn’t kill me or vice versa during some of those fights we had. I was such a stubborn, strong-willed, rebellious girl. I still can be… but I have learned to control it – and I have learned to admit that I am wrong more times than not. I insisted on learning from my own mistakes, instead of taking my parents advice and learning from the mistakes of others. I wish I would’ve listened to their wisdom all those years ago – but that’s all hindsight 20/20 now.
Little things here and there remind me constantly that I’m growing up – I can’t do the things I used to do. I’m not a teenager anymore. I have a job – two actually. I have to have a higher education if I want to make it anywhere in life. So, unlike highschool, my grades actually matter now. That means no skipping class, no flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to tests; that means sacrificing hours of sleep, time with my friends, and even my sanity for the sake of my GPA.
Never did I think the day would come where bedtime would actually excite me – for no reason other than the fact that I get to shut the world out for about 5 hours and… sleep. Don’t even bother asking me if I had sweet dreams or not – because the truth of the matter is, I can never remember.
My friends and I will often look back on past memories and laugh at all the dumb yet “fun” things we used to do. We’re all grown up now… everyone’s got their own life and we’ve all kind of gone our separate ways. Some are married, have kids, are engaged (or close to it), in the military, living in various states all across America, we’re working our butts off, some have houses of their own, etc. When did we stop being little girls and start being women…? When did all those little boys I once played basketball with turn into men…? At what point did the switch-over actually take place…?
It blows my mind. It amazes me, actually. I’ll be 22 in less than six months, which (I understand) really isn’t “that old” – but still, where did the time go? It’s almost 2010… ten years ago people were fearing Y2K was going to end life as we know it! And yet it feels like it all happened just yesterday. Time waits for no man… or woman. Which is what we are now… men and women – we’re not little kids anymore. We have responsibilities; the roles are reversed and we have people relying on US now; we have lives that need to be lived to the fullest. So live!
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.” ~ Franklin