Question of the day: I’m gay.

This question is unlike any question I’ve ever posted here on the blog.

It’s a “what it…” scenerio. Meaning, it could happen… and if it did, how would you react?  What would you say?  How would you handle it?

Let me set the scene…

You are standing by the table rummaging through papers and bills, when Jeronimo walks up behind you.

You: Hi, Jer! How’s it going…?

Jeronimo: Oh, you know… it’s going good.

You: What are you up to?

Jeronimo: You know what… I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?

You: Of course! What’s up?

Jeronimo: I’m gay…

You: _____________________________

That blank is for you  (the reader) to fill in via the comment box.

Now, depending on who you are, you can look at this from a few different view points.
Jeronimo could be:

  1. Your son/daughter
  2. Best friend
  3. Brother/sister
  4. Parent
  5. Co-worker
  6. Other

So how would you handle this situation?
What would you say to Jeronimo?
Would you react calmly? Freak out? Stay quiet?
Or would you just walk away in complete shock?

Have you already encountered a similiar situation like this?
How did you respond?


Posted on March 14, 2011, in Question of the Day and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Shock? I doubt it. But, I could imagine a situation where someone trying to shock me could catch me off guard.

    I’m not sure what I would say because it would change depending on my relationship to the person. I would also try to figure out what they were looking for in telling me. But this is true no matter what a person confesses to me. Teens telling me they slept with their girlfriend. Someone mentioning their tattoo. A person telling me they tried drugs, want to commit suicide, are really frustrated at their parents, think their Bible is audibly speaking to them… why? What are they looking for?

    If I can’t figure that out, I may not say much. But in those cases–until they let me in on what they want out of me–there’s not much to say.

    But I’m far too much of a lover of “shock value” to be shocked by much.


  2. I guess I’m an oddity in the Christian world. Because this isn’t anything new for me. After public schools and being crazily involved with musical theatre and working with teeangers for a living – I’ve be-friended several gay people, and have had a few come out to me.

    Depending on the person – I might be shocked. Usually I have a decent “gaydar” so when someone comes out to me I’m not too surprised. Every once in a while someone pops up and it’s a shock. But not usually. If it was a close friend or a family member that I had no idea, yeah that would be a bit more shocking.

    Typically, I just listen. I tend to be very sympathetic to the gay community. (I’m not saying it’s right or wrong or getting into that, I’m just saying I’m sympathetic.) The way I see it, everyone is a sinner & needs the love of Jesus. How is being gay any different?

    As for a specific reaction to the conversation you posted, I would probably ask a question. Even something as simple as “Really?” or “Tell me more.” or “How long have you known?” Depends on the person. Find out if anyone else knows, or if you’re the first person they have talked to. Let them know they can trust you and you appreciate them talking to you. I try to encourage them and let them know that they are really brave for telling me (or anyone else for that matter!) because that’s really scary. But just keep asking questions and trying to figure out what’s going on, and letting them know that you still love them. Because again- we ALL are sinners & need Christ’s love. So in the eyes of God, they are just the same as you are.

    Does the relationship change at all? I guess it does. Sometimes it makes you closer to the person, telling big secrets tends to do that. You might have to become more of a mentor and support person rather than just a friend in some cases. A resource person helping to guide them where to go and who else to talk to.

    So…those are my two cents. In the end, just love them.

  3. In May of 2007 my baby sister (two and a half months shy of being 20 years old) came home from flunking out of college, and asked if she could talk with me in her room at our parents house. To paraphrase her, she said she was talking to me because she knew I understood God’s Word and was faithful to it. This naturally sparked some intrigue into what was coming next.

    “You may have guessed by some of my actions that while at college a lot of things changed. I’m gay.”

    I am a bit of a joker, so my first response was “Technically, no you’re not. You are a lesbian. Gays are technically guys.”

    This helped break the tension, thankfully, but I did inform her that it did not make me feel gay (joyful and light-hearted). I reminded her that the Bible does not condone sin.

    She did say she felt like God still loves her, and I emphatically agreed. I also had to tell her that God is not pleased with this course, but (as she suspected I would say) “it is not my place to condemn. That is God’s job. I can only love you as my sibling and while continuing to trust still as a sister in Christ.”

    There is nothing I can say or do to change her, so I pray for her the same as I always have (maybe slightly differently) and am still the first person she comes to. While I do not condone how she lives her life, she knows I will always be there for her.

    I have since had two friends come out to me (citing the same trust and understanding my sister mentioned) and a high school friend who had a sex change.

    We sure live in interesting times, but we should always follow Jesus’ advice to love sinners (i.e. everyone).

  4. I’d like to compliment all of the three “first commenters” above. Thought all three answers were quite good, and that all touched on about the same points. Yes, homosexuality is a sin everywhere the Bible mentions it; but we’re to love those around us in spite of whatever sins they have – even our enemies.

    And I’m afraid we often forget what the Bible says the WORST sins are. (Include me – I did for a long time.) Sodom’s a good example. There was homosexuality there, and I’ve heard many people say that’s why it was destroyed. But the Bible says “Your sister Sodom’s sins were pride, laziness, and too much food, while the poor and needy suffered outside her door. She insolently worshiped many idols as I watched. Therefore I crushed her.” (Ezekiel 16: 49-50, Living Bible.)

    Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Amos also compare Israel and/or Judah to Sodom for the same reason: because they weren’t helping their poor and needy. And Amos (6:1-7) tells the wealthy of Jerusalem and Samaria that they’ll be the “first to be taken as slaves” for the same reason Sodom was judged – living in luxury while “caring not that your brothers need your help.”

    So what do we often do? Try our best to vote out any legislators (of any party) who want to “help our brothers.” And I’m afraid God puts us in the same category as Sodom when we do that. Be careful!

  5. Such a tough call here, but I couldn’t help but hug them and tell them that God doesn’t hate them nor do I. I’d probably ask them where they are at spiritually with this and what they think Jesus wants with their lives next.

    The fact is that homosexuality is a sin and they need Jesus, but the fact is also that I have sin in my life and need Jesus just as much (if not more) as they do.

    The last thing we Christians should do is ignore or hate on homosexuals because that is not what Jesus would do. And if anything can change the heart it’s only Jesus. Not hate.

  6. rainbowsoffaith

    I have a great book recommendation for EVERYONE: Love Is An Orientation by Andrew Marin.

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