Confessions of a RIFB Girl of 20-something {I tan, go to gyms, chew gum, & wear flip flops.}

There are some rules within the Christian circle that are understandable. Like swearing, immodesty, promiscuous living… I get it.

Then there are those “rules” that don’t make any sense at all. Like, you’re not allowed to rub your belly and pat your head while walking…  I made that one up — it’s just weird, and I don’t like when people do it. Please add that to your Christian Rule Handbook. Thanks.

Okay, that was a dumb example. but there are others…

What about… girls aren’t allowed to wear dark-colored nail polish. and guys aren’t allowed to wear anything with a hint of pink in it. or any guy who spikes his hair instead of styling it with a comb-over is living in a state of rebellion. Oh, and then there’s that whole guys-wearing-baggy-pants issue. *sigh* I don’t know about you, but I’d rather a guy’s pants err on the side of “baggy” then on the side of “skinny jeans.”

Are there any girls out there who do the things I mentioned in the video?
Guys, do you prefer baggy(ish) jeans or “skinny jeans” (or whatever they call those type of pants for guys)?

What are some of the “silly” rules that you have heard of or been ordered to follow in your life?


Posted on February 23, 2011, in Confessions of a Rebellious Independent Fundamental Baptist Girl of 20-something {Series} and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.

  1. Bwahhhahahahaaaa! This was great. Totally.

    • :] oh man… from about 5:20 – 5:37…. *awkwarddddd* LOL!

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. I can totally picture you sitting there, cracking up, and saying snarky little sarcastic comments all the way through. ;]

  2. I absolutely love this series of posts. Coming from an IFB background, I can totally see my upbringing…and see how certain things I once thought were taboo are now ok to me. I look back at those times as valuable in shaping my moral compass, but questioning them later in life has made my REAL convictions more solid, because I have spent time reading what THE BIBLE says about issues…not depending on what my principal, Mr. Dollar, told me was sin!

    We were told in high school the reason guys should always wear belts is because it was the international sign of homosexuality if you were beltless. I wish I were kidding.

    • Absolutely! We shouldn’t rely on what he said, she said, they said, or Bozo the Clown said – we should be studying out Scripture for ourselves and learning what God’s Word has to say about it.

      My pastor always says something to the effect of: “Don’t take my word for it… go study it out for yourself!” <– some of the best advice a Pastor could give.

      The "belt" comment makes me a little sad… disturbed… concerned. I feel like I should have a belt on with the ankle-length denim skirt I have on right now. ;P

      I'm glad you're enjoying the series… I think there's about a dozen episodes left or so (unless people send in more ideas). Ha.

      • Along the lines of what your Pastor advised you…

        I have a friend in ministry who, while we discuss issues like IFB-isms and other things the church does or doesn’t do (or what I believe or don’t believe) says this…

        “There’s only one problem with that…the Bible.” He keeps me straight.

        I love that view.

        • That’s excellent!

          I usually use something along those lines when I’m discussing doctrine with people.
          Actually, I say “That’s not Bible.” I like cutting to the chase. LOL

  3. I love this!!! Super Cute! BTW, I like the same exact gums!

  4. No, no problem with any of those (thank God). I also appreciated that my first pastor said the same thing as yours did – read the Bible. (Of course, when I finally did, I learned there were a whole group of things – mostly small, one large – where the Bible did NOT agree with him.) The biggie was that he’d completely missed the need to love and help our neighbors. At times he flat out denied we needed to do that, and put things like “don’t dance” or “don’t go to the movies” or, to the girls, “don’t wear makup) ahead of it.) I eventually found over 3,000 verses on “love and help your neighbors.” And I know I don’t have them all YET.

    Btw, I’ll still be reading your blogs regularly (I enjoy them), but commenting less (if at all) for awhile. As The Lord’s been reminding me, it’s time to get some other things done (business taxes are first on the list). Then a bunch of other business related computer projects. After all that – we’ll see. Maybe thre’ll be more time to comment again. It was fun.

    Before I head off for all that, can you clear up one question? I’ve seen you refer several times to the “Calvinist heresy.” I know from both your Statement of Faith and your comments that this does NOT refer to the “once saved, always saved” belief, though I know there are even some Baptist churches that don’t believe in that. But, in your thinking, what DOES it refer to? Or is it just a tongue-in-cheek expression referring to what you think some other churches think of yours? I’d like to understand.

    God keep blessing you We’ll be praying for you even more as you approach that surgery date.

    Pete A.

    • Pete –
      Thank you for your comment (as alwasy!) – you’re a blessings.

      I’ll miss your good, thought-provoking comments! I trust you will be able to get everything caught up that you need to get done!

      In regards to your question –
      When I refer to “Calvinism” I’m referring to their doctrine that God “picks and chooses” who He wants to save and who goes to Hell. This is not in Scripture. The Bible says that “whosoever” may be saved. That “all” have equal opportunity to receive the Lord as their Savior. The Bible says that God is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

      I hope that answered your question! Perhaps I’ll pose something along this long as a QOTD post in the future.
      I just recently posted two notes on facebook regarding this topic. Here are the links to said notes:
      1. election. what?this post exploded into a huge discussion of 100+ comments.
      2. election: my thoughts.this post only has one comment (thank you, Daniel Pulliam), but contains my summary thoughts regarding the aforementioned facebook note.
      If you or anyone in your family has a facebook account, you’re more than welcome to connect with me there.

      Thank you for your continued prayers! You and your family are an encouragement to me. Blessings!
      ~ Heather Joy

  5. You just have to stick with what the Bible says:

    1. Be modest.

    Just because it “covers the skin” doesn’t mean it doesn’t reveal things that shouldn’t be revealed because of how tight it is. My wife wrote an excellent article for ladies on the subject of modesty and fashion. It’s called “The Five F’s of Fashion”:

    2. Be separated.

    This is where things get sticky, and I think everyone is going to apply the idea differently. Some brand names are associated with sin, or at least they try their best to. And example of one is Abercrombie and Fitch. Their catalogs are like a Victoria Secret catalog. You have to ask yourself, by wearing their brand for all to see do you want to be associated with that? Nothing wrong with brand names, just think about what you’re associating yourself with.

    3. Obey them that have the rule over you.

    When I was a teenager, we went to a church where pants on women were preached against. We didn’t agree with it, but the Bible clearly teaches that when you should put yourself under the authority of a local church and pastor, and when you do that – you need to submit to them. If you don’t like it, then find a church where you can submit. Here’s an article I wrote on the local church:

    • Mr. Schworer,
      I would like to believe that I am very conscious about modesty. I myself did a series on modesty last year sometime.
      Here are the links to the articles I wrote if you care to have a look:
      1. Mission: Modesty (pt1)
      2. Mission: Modesty (pt2)
      3. Mission: Modesty (pt3)
      4. Identity Crises: modesty!
      5. Ladies, let’s be “ladies”

      I’m a little bit confused on how your comment (with the exception on point 3 maybe) relates to this post. Did you perhaps mean to post this under the “I shop at VS” post? I’m just trying to understand the context of your comment in relation to the post you meant it for.

      Thank you for the article links – I’ll definitely check them out.

      • Where I was coming from was I don’t believe in getting hung up on rules, but rather focusing on the main principle of what the Bible says. It just says to be modest; it doesn’t go into detail of what that means. I was trying to apply that to all these little rules that you spoke of. Some folks follow rules without any reason behind it – that won’t last very long and it certainly won’t come from the heart!

        Sorry if I was confusing. I didn’t mean to imply anything about you and your dress – that was seriously the furthest thing from my mind at the time!

        When folks follow rules without having understood the Scripture behind them, they get the cart before the horse, and they put the emphasis on the wrong things. What I was trying to emphasize was focusing on what the Scripture said, and then seeing how it can apply in one’s life. Not going by a list of rules and then wondering why the heck you are. 🙂

        • Ah, I completely understand where you’re coming from! Thank you for clarifying – I think my mind must have been in a fog when I read your first comment.
          I agree, that Christians get hung up on the small things… and usually those “small things” can’t even really be backed up with the Bible.
          Sure, you can throw the old “avoid the appearance of evil” punch line to ANYthing… we might as well never use headphones, delete our facebooks, delete text messaging from our phones capabilities, and a whole slew of other ridiculous things.
          Sometimes people just get a little carried away with things…

  6. The temptation to comment extensively is very strong, but I must resist! 🙂 oh, I never should have started typing on here. It is such a slippery slope! My fingers are just itching to give a list for you… no! Stop it! Agh! I have to go now, I must flee from my keyboard before I begin to give pharasaical rules and call out institutions.
    I will caution you, heather. If you keep this up you may have to change the name of the series to”ex-independent fundamental baptist girl of 20 something” LOL! 😉

    • Haha!! Daniel… SO funny. I did thank about that! Eeeeek.
      I have no desire to be an “ex-RIFB”… but it they shun me… nnahh, they wouldn’t! ;P (I hope).

      I’m curious to know what exactly your “almost typed” comment would have said though… hmm.

  7. With Stride, I wonder if it’s one of those things where it tastes good, but if they labelled the flavor it wouldn’t be good anymore…

  8. Any church where the men have to wear a jacket and tie to church.

    Must always go to church on Sunday…or Saturday….you’re back slidden if you miss out.
    Don’t participate in Christmas or Easter…its pagan.
    Women can’t speak in church…that one drives me nuts
    No musical instruments in church… this one also drives me nuts.
    Men have to have short hair….I like my long hair…keeps the frost of my ears in winter.
    Don’t drink any kind of alcohol….at all.
    You can’t sit there…that’s where I sit at church.
    KJV only… the other versions are of the devil…
    Don’t talk to Catholics….
    Women are to totally submit…even in every abusive circumstance… drives me nuts…get out of it and run away…run I say.

    Just a few… in reality though its not about obeying rules and regulations. True holiness is Love. How much do we love God, love ourselves and love our neighbours….this sums up the law.

  9. Just now got to watch the video. Wow. My wife has the same kind of gum. Amazing. I wonder if it is like a Chick-fil-a thing? Maybe it’s Christian gum?

    I don’t know where YOU live, but everybody knows where I live. I am a pastor that lives in a parsonage, for crying out loud. What’s worse, I am supposed to WANT the sinners to visit. How crazy is that?

    Flip flops? I led a rebellion in high school because a girl was sent home for wearing neon socks. That afternoon I talked a bunch of students to go home and buy anything neon to wear to school the next day. We did get in trouble, but nobody got sent home. Hard to believe I was a protester, huh?

    Tanning? Cancer? Creepy people who video the rooms where you change? Nope. Not me. Then again, who cares to see a tan, bald, baptist preacher?

    Exercise clubs? I loved the YMCA. Just can’t afford it anymore.

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