Confessions of a RIFB girl of 20-something {dating websites.}

And we’re back with yet another episode (“episode”…? episode. *shrugs* I guess…)  of the Confessions of a Rebellious, Independent, Fundamental, Baptist Girl of 20-something.

Relationships are sometimes hard to come by in Christian circles. And by “relationships” I’m referring to girlfriend/boyfriend relationships. Admit it… sometimes the pickings are slim to none. What do you do when that  happens?!  Well… 😀

Confession: I joined a Christian dating website.

Do you know any couples that met online? Was it through a dating website or a social media website (facebook, myspace, etc)?

Have YOU  ever joined a dating website before?
Any interesting “date” stories you care to share?
Did it work for you or do you consider it one of the dumbest moves of your life?

Leave a comment below with your thoughts and stories!

If you have any topics that you would like to see addressed in this series, please send me an e-mail {growup318@gmail.com}. If you do not wish any of your e-mail to be disclosed in a future post, please clarify that in your e-mail.

P.S. Pass this on to those you know (i.e. though a twitter shoutout, posting a link to facebook, on your blog, etc) – get the word out and get others involved!

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Posted on January 14, 2011, in Confessions of a Rebellious Independent Fundamental Baptist Girl of 20-something {Series}, Vlog, YouTube & Videos and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. My brother and his wife met through eharmony. She’s a perfect match! 🙂

  2. I think that dating websites falls under the category of “where are your priorities”. Let me first say that there can be both good and bad things to say about christian dating websites, HOWEVER, what about trusting God and His timing to bring the exact right one along. Who knows you better than God; who cares about you more than God, and who knows the future—-only God. Believe me, I KNOW that Christian guys (and girls) are few and far between. I was in my 2nd year of college before I had my first serious relationship. For whatever reason (God knew) it did not work out. I kept thinking to myself, God, you know that I desire to be married and have a family……so why is there no one out there (that’s what is seemed like to me). Making a very looooong story short, God knew that exact time for me to meet and marry my helpmate and I had to wait until I was 27 yrs. old. I had finished college and was well into my career, also very self sufficient and independent and I kept making MYSELF miserable cuz I didn’t have what I wanted. I finally realized and thought, OK, Lord, if I am going to be a single person, then I want to be a happy single person, so……..I give my life to you to use however you want. BINGO!!! Literally, the very next day, my husband was introduced to me by friends that had brought him to church since he had just moved back to Michigan after being in the military and they wanted to set him up with a “nice christian girl”. Looking back at that (25 yrs later), I know that I could not have handled all the “life” that goes along with marriage and kids before God brought it into my life. God knew that I needed to “Grow Up” (little play on words — your blog title) and mature before sending me the blessings of marriage and children. I realize that this is my story and that people mature at different times, but we all have to TRUST God to know that what He has for us is waaaay better than what we can do on our own. Sometimes waiting is the very best thing to do and watch for God to work in your life to prepare you for the life that you are dreaming of.

    • denaalla –
      So for all those who DID find their “perfect match” on a dating website… would you say they missed out on God’s will for their lives? Did they marry the wrong person?
      I don’t believe that my God is limited to making people meet in a church, at a party, at school, at work, etc. I believe God can use a dating website as well to bring about His will.
      I have no problem with waiting. I’m living that out right now. Right now I don’t even want a relationship. If it happens, then it happens. But I am so far beyond being comfortable single. I like it.
      Maybe joining that dating website in the first place is saying “Ok, God… I trust you, so I’m gonna put myself out there even though I’m not so sure about it.”
      All that to say, God can use a dating website just as much as He can use a family member, friend, co-worker, etc.
      Thank you for your comment!

  3. I met my husband on fb. We saw each other years before at college, but really started talking on fb, as friends. And God worked the rest out. It was a great way to get to know someone. We got to know each other way before we actually saw each other. When we met it wasn’t akward cause we had been talking through fb and the phone. It was great. He’s the best husband. It’s kinda funny telling people how we
    met. Some give me looks, but fb worked for us.

  4. fb may not be a dating website, but my husband is Gods will for my life and I don’t regret meeting online. I agree that Gods not limited in how He will bring the right one along. You just have to be open cause sometimes how we picture it happening is not how God will bring it to pass in your life. Sometimes we are so focused on the traditional way of doing things that we miss out.

  5. Heather,
    If you refer back to the 2nd sentence, I said that there are good and bad about christian dating websites and I think MOST people would have to agree with that. I certainly don’t limit God and what He can and does use to bring about His will. But my question to you is: If you are not really in to having a serious (or even platonic) relationship right now, and dating is a means to getting to know your potential mate, then why are you joining something whose main purpose is to create relationships–friendly or otherwise? Let me state here: I am not against social websites and unconventional ways of meeting people. There are bad things that happen in the conventional way of meeting, so it’s not the way you meet, but, again, if you are not looking, than why go shopping? And please do not say that “window shopping” is what you are doing. That is like saying that you like shopping (dating) but don’t want to commit to buying anything (a serious relationship). People usually join websites because they think it will meet a need in their life or just something they desire to do, but….you have to be OK with what happens. Are you OK with this at this time in your life?

    • Denaalla,
      I did not overlook your second sentence. I did read it, I promise. Following your “HOWEVER” though, you proceeded to point out everything that you feel is “wrong” with dating websites. I’m curious to hear your answers to the questions I posted in my first response back to you.
      In answer to your question about WHY I joined a dating website. If you didn’t watch the video, I gave my reasons why around :30 of the video.
      I was not desperately searching for the love of my life. I joined merely to do a review of the website (and a couple other dating websites) to post here at Grow Up! — obviously, those reviews never happened.
      Anytime someone messages me on one of the websites I respond to them and let them know that I’m “not looking for a relationship right now, because I feel God has me single at this time for a greater reason than even I know.”
      And yes, I’m beyond okay with that at this time in my life.

      I look forward to reading your answers to the questions I asked you in my above comment.
      Blessings. 🙂

  6. Haha! I thoroughly enjoyed this!
    I met my husband on an online dating website that I had long since neglected. I had not paid for it, but merely joined on a dare while working at a camp a few years ago. Little did I know that God would use that means to bring a man into my life from across the country, with so many mutual friends and church contacts in common! It was far from what I had ever imagined for myself, in terms of a how a relationship would begin, but that’s why God is GOD! Our little minds easily get stuck on how WE think God should works things out for us, but if we leave it up to Him, he’ll work it out in a far greater and better way than we ever could!!
    Thanks for braving the fundamental opinionists out there and stating the obvious – God’s will is not limiited to our understanding of it!

  7. Hmm the old chestnut of waiting on God, and putting yourself out there. It affects so much of our life. One the one hand you could be so keen to wait on God that you miss the obvious in front of your eyes, on the other you could rush in and not give God a chance to speak.

    I think God has given us brains, eyes and ears, and taught us too. He has instilled knowledge in us and given us His Word. Sometimes I think God says ‘Look, you have all the info you can make this decision without me’ and then sits back as a proud Father hoping we make a good decision but ready to step in if we don’t.

    Thankfully I’ve always been uber charming and therefore a huge hit with the ladies(!) but as one poster commented earlier it was when I let go of the importance of relationships in my life that I met Anna, my wife. 🙂

  8. I agree with Nick, I too have always been uber charming…. ;o)

    Seriously though, I do agree with Nick. He’s given us His spirit to guide us but he’s also given us free will, common sense, decision making ability etc, and why would he give us that if He did not want us to use it.

    I was a serial dater growing up. My wife was the complete opposite. But she is perfection.

    God drew together our different dating experiences and our different ways of doing things and that didn’t matter to Him.

    So I say, as long as one’s conscience and heart is right before him, then dating or not, or dating sites or not, don’t really matter. It is not for me to judge another. It is not for another to judge me. God is the boss.

    Sometimes we know in our hearts it is right to wait. Other times we know in our hearts it is right to push doors. Follow your heart in obedience to Him and have fun.

  9. Singles on line looking for love. Don’t be lonely this weekend. What are you waiting for. Let us help you find the perfect partner!

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