I like being imperfect.

I’m sitting here drinking my once hot caramel mocha and chomping on a red delicious apple as I listen to different songs posted on YouTube. My back’s a little burnt because I went tanning last night for the first time in 4 months. *sigh*  My mind is perusing through the past couple days: Sunday I went to an ice cream restaurant and bought a fish sandwich. Monday I wore mis-matching socks inside my boots to work. Tuesday I ate sour patch kids for breakfast. Today I wore a very bright, neon yellow sweater to work… it matches nothing, and sticks out like an extremely sore thumb.

I’m so completely opposite of being perfect.

I mean, I couldn’t possibly be any further from it…

I often wish I was a little more creative and spontaneous. I wish I would’ve kept up with my drawings – I used to be quite good. I wish I would’ve actually been a little more determined to learn how to play the violin all those years ago. I wish I would have pursued cosmetology school like I planned to do in my senior year of high school. I wish I would’ve went sky diving when I was in Vegas – or at least swam with the dolphins, despite the ridiculous toll it would have taken on my bank account. I wish I would have paid more attention in my creative writing classes.

These thoughts always cross through my mind when I find some creative blog, or stumble across someone’s flickr album filled up with the most amazing pictures. Oh, and those Sassyfras sisters *deep sigh* …they’re amazing. Whenever I read a good quote I say “man, I wish I could have said that…”  Whenever I come across a Picasso painting (or look-alike) I wonder why my scribbles aren’t making millions. Sometimes I wish my sense of humor wasn’t so weird… or hidden. Ha.  I watch amateur YouTube music videos and tell myself that I could write songs like that if I just tried.

Maybe it’s the lack of time that holds me back. Maybe it’s discouragement, thinking that nothing will ever come of it anyways. Perhaps the fear of failure; I don’t want to look stupid; what will people think? Maybe, maybe, maybe…

And then I read in my Bible this morning…

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
~ Psalm 139:14-18

I think I like being imperfect. I like that I fail from time to time. I think I like not being as talented as I might wish to be. I like that I have to work for things and force myself to do other things. I’m glad everything doesn’t come easy to me. I’m glad there are things I want to do in my life – because, seriously, what’s really left for you if you can sit back and say “I’ve done it all”…?  (okay, besides dying.)

I like being exactly who God created me to be… me.

Is there anything you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

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Posted on January 5, 2011, in Christian Life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Did I write this? NO – I couldn’t have expressed it so well, but I certainly relate to all you have said here.

    >>> Is there anything I really want to do? What is holding me back? <<<

    When I think back on the last 50 years, I am amazed at what the Lord has accomplished in and through me. I cannot believe I actually DID those things! Incredible!

    I would LOVE to do more of the same. What is holding me back? I will soon be 75 and while a year ago that wouldn't have made a difference, my body is suddenly catching up with my chronology. My hubby is almost 81. He is not in the slightest domesticated and needs me. His needs have to come first.

    So what do I really want to do now? I am trusting that a new ministry will open to me this year – a ministry which I can engage in completely from home. How exciting!

    • It sure sounds like you had a eventful life of ministry!
      I can only hope and pray mine is equally as busy and eventful with the Lord’s work.

      The Lord is always looking for faithful workers – and if you are willing, it makes His search that much “easier.”
      God bless you,
      ~ H

  2. This was beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made with all my quirks and eccentricities. thank you for the way that you put that blog together. it was very encouraging.

    • What a comfort it is also to know that we are not only fearfully and wonderfully made, but also we were made on purpose and we’re not a mistake.
      Sometimes I create things that are (in my opinion, and perhaps someone else’s opinion) quite wonderful – but I have to admit that they were on accident. I didn’t “mean” to make them that way. I made a mistake somewhere along the way, and the end result was something completely different than what I originally wanted, but also completely wonderful.
      With God it’s not so. We’re wonferful AND on purpose.
      He’s a good God.

  3. Cory A. Schultz

    I think you’re fine just the way you are friend 😉

  4. I’m a little late, but I’m going to chip in some thoughts here.

    I, too, often struggle with looking at the lives of great men and women and thinking – Why am I not doing all that or accomplishing so many things?

    But I have to step back and put things into perspective. In the course of a day I might pick up an incredible books, stumble across some amazing photos, or read some soulful poetry, and start to harp on myself for not producing all of those things in my own life. And then I remember: I can’t lump the best results of countless lives all into one pile and then expect to come up with that same pile out of my own life. At best, I will do one thing well, create one amazing masterpiece, accomplish one memorable feat in my life – just like everyone else.

    It’s so easy for me to look at a bookshelf full of biographies and, quite oddly, hold myself up to every single one of them. At the same time. Now why in the world do I do that? Clearly these are the lives of countless people, not one single conglomerate entity. It doesn’t work that way. It didn’t work that way for any of them*, and it certainly isn’t going to work that way for me. God has a number of things for me to do in this life, and those are what I am to accomplish.

    *Well, I am reading Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography. Some exceptions shall perhaps be made.

    • Amen, Chris.
      You’re right on with your comment.
      Thanks for the encouragement.
      May we all live our lives as Christ desires us to, accomplishing the great things (whether we see them that way or not) that He wills.
      Remembering that results can’t always be seen immediately – sometimes they take days, months, years, generations to be seen.
      Blessings.

  5. I have always wanted to be completely confident in who God made me to be. And now reading this and hearing the speaker in chapel this morning… I must say that I think I like being imperfect as well. I like that my hair wont always stay in place. I like that the guy I like and I don’t always see eye to eye. I like that sometimes in life there is no where to wait out the storm… I like being me.
    And I think its time that I was me full force.

  1. Pingback: God’s chisel. « Grow Up!

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