Repost: My Ceiling {end of discussion.}

Sometimes there is a loss for words… or at least, I am at a loss for the “right” words. I have something to say, but I don’t know how to say it. Or perhaps, I DO know how to say it, but I’m afraid of hurting someone. Silence and I have never been real good friends, but lately I have become better acquainted with it – and, most likely, it’s for the better.

So often I get worried that my plans won’t be fulfilled. Sometimes I question if God really knows what He’s doing… but then I remember that the clay has no right to accuse the Potter of being unfaithful to His work.

Sometimes I let myself get sick because what I WANT is not what HE WANTS, and it causes unrest in my heart. Seriously? What am I thinking? What’s meant to be will always find a way. God doesn’t need my help. After all, He is God, you know…? It seems silly that I’m willing to trust Him with my eternal security, but not with my temporary, “like-a-vapor” life here on earth. *pfft*

And then there’s that aspect of loneliness. Constantly surrounded by people, but having the feeling of being alone… which is completely ridiculous because I have a Comforter who never leaves me and will not forsake me.

Tell me… what is God’s will? How do I know when I’ve found His purpose for my life? I don’t expect a great thundering noise, lightning flashing, and a giant hand writing on the wall – but a still, small voice would be nice. Or even a “sign” from Him. Perhaps His will is found only by taking it one day at a time, and trusting that the One Who holds the future of the world also carries me in the palm of His hand – and He never sleeps.

Since when does my opinion matter? Since when do people care what I have to say? Since when does God care what I think? Correct: It doesn’t matter. Many say “God said it. I believe it. And that settles it for me.” However, I believe the better way to say it is: “God said it. And that settles it for me.” It matters not if I believe it or not… what God said, goes. End of discussion. Period.

I have limits. I don’t like being pushed around, getting my toes stepped on, or being asked to do virtually “the impossible.” But sometimes it’s asked of me… or IS it? Maybe what I think is completely impossible for me to do really isn’t – but when looking at it from where I’m standing it looks like Mt. Everest is in front of me, and I must climb it… in one hour… barefoot. See… impossible. But from where God is sitting, everything’s all down-hill from there… literally. Oh, the irony… how He must laugh!

I have much to learn… and I take it as it comes. Ready and willing.

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Posted on December 20, 2010, in My Ceiling and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Lots of thoughts in there! And all 4 of my family have been facing many of the same questions for the last year. We expected certain things to happen before now. So far that hasn’t been what God chose to do – but he has enabled us to do other things, which we hadn’t expected, but which we can now see were important and which we wouldn’t have wanted to miss.

    We have learned, I think, that if we make sure we love God AND also love and help our neighbors, God will take care of the rest. He will lead us in the right steps. Those two are like twins. Just as, if we had twins, we wouldn’t take meticulous care of one but ignore the other, so it pleases God if we give equal, loving care to both of those “twins.” Loving God, loving our neighbors, showing that by helping them.

    God bless you and guide your steps.

  2. Your ponderings match those pondered by people all over the world for thousands of years.

    I like your Mount Everest analogy. However, we only think Mount Everest is “up” because of gravity.

    Take away a merely physical limitation like gravity and all of a sudden Mount Everest is not a problem.

    It’s about looking at the world through Heaven’s glasses, not through the physical limitations we see around us.

    But I hear your desire to hear God and walk closer to Him and know His will. When you find a quick way to solve this – can you let me know please?! ;o)

  1. Pingback: My Ceiling {clumsy Christian.} « Grow Up!

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