My Ceiling {quiet. reserved. mute.}

I don’t have any one particular thing on my mind this morning, but I do have a bunch of little random things on my mind. A while back on one of my old blogs, I did these posts that I called my “ceilings.” My best friend told me about how she used to write little quotes, questions, songs, or whatever else she was thinking about on her ceiling. One day she told me I needed a ceiling to write my musings and questions on. Knowing that my parents would kill me if I wrote on my actual bedroom ceiling, I compromised and decided to type out my thoughts on a “pretend ceiling” (aka my blog).

I wish I was more spontaneous. I mean, yes, I’m crazy; I love to have fun; I love to do random things. But when it comes down to it, I’m not really all that spontaneous. I wish I would just let loose and go on an unplanned roadtrip on any given weekend. I wish I would find the courage to skip class… just once. Maybe. I wish I could just find a random Christian group and go onΒ a missions trip with them – that’s right, a whole bunch of people I’ve never met before in my life and me. I wish I was able to find this little hideaway spot that no one else knows about and make it my little haven – because, sometimes, my bedroom isn’t always enough.

Sometimes I wish I had a personality that was more introverted. I don’t mean to say that I spout off whatever’s on my mind to anyone who will listen. I don’t mean to say that I wear my heart on my sleeve. But sometimes, I wish I was more kept to myself. Quiet. Reserved. Mute. I wish I could learn to observe more, and speak less.

I usually don’t know what to say to people when I don’t really know them. It’s like I literally clam up and become a completely different person. Half the time I wonder if they think I’m being a snob. I try, really I do. It’s especially bad when I’m talking to guys… usually. Or maybe it just depends on the guy. I don’t know anymore. I just know it’s awkward… and the moment seems to last for eternity.

I can’t make up my mind whether I want to get married someday or if I don’t want to. It’s a feeling that comes and goes. It usually comes when I attend a wedding… then it goes after some guy does something stupid to make me rethink my entire future. Are all guys out there the same? …because I have yet to find one that’s actually different from the rest. As someone once said, “I seem to attract guys that have expiration dates stamped on their foreheads.” *sigh*

I procrastinate on everything. Seriously. I need to get in gear and get organized. My life would probably go a lot smoother and I could get more done if I would just organize my stuff better – not to mention better manage my time. Hmmm… perhaps I should actually use that day-to-day planner I bought 6 months ago. Or learn to use the planner in my cell phone. Either way, something needs to happen.

What about you? Any random thoughts on your mind? If you had a ceiling (or a blog), what would you write on it?

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Posted on December 13, 2010, in My Ceiling and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. I like random. I’m a little ADD and random keeps me from being bored. I’m calm enough to be able to read a blog at one sitting but I really like random.

    I’m like you – need to get organized. Lists work for me. I like to cross the tasks off. And working in small increments of time in one place then moving to another works well with my ADD.

    Thank you for this post. I’m going to get to work.

    • Sometimes, purplefacedpansy, I wonder if I have ADD tendencies myself. In fact, I have a post in my “drafts” folder regarding that subject (ish). Perhaps one day I’ll actually finish it and publish it. πŸ˜‰

      I LOVE lists. I find that I get SO much more done when I make “to do” lists and cross things off as I go along. I like the sense of accomplishment it gives me.

      Blessins.

  2. Haha, my ceiling. Wow, if my parents would let me literally write on my ceiling, it would be COVERED with Sharpies! I LOVE writing, and whenever I have “story ideas” I start writing them down and hardly ever stop; so, stories would be all over my ceiling.

    My thoughts, those would be on there too. (Some I might have to cross out because I wrote it in anger! :O lol)

    I would have my prayers on there too. Back in April I bought this purple notebook covered with gold swirls (if you know me, you would know how much I LOVE buying notebooks and pens!) and I entitled it “My Letters to God”.

    On the first page, I wrote “Within these pages are my personal letters to God, my thoughts, my hopes, my fears, my worries, my prayers, my pleas, and everything in between…”

    So, my letters to God would be on my ceiling too.

    I always thought that it would be cool to be allowed to write on your walls and ceiling, but I guess my blog will have to suffice! πŸ™‚

    Thanks for posting this, and making me seem normal! Have a great day!

    -Mary

    http://maryswoolgathering.blogspot.com/

  3. Haha, my ceiling. Wow, if my parents would let me literally write on my ceiling, it would be COVERED with Sharpies! I LOVE writing, and whenever I have “story ideas” I start writing them down and hardly ever stop; so, stories would be all over my ceiling.

    My thoughts, those would be on there too. (Some I might have to cross out because I wrote it in anger! :O lol)

    I would have my prayers on there too. Back in April I bought this purple notebook covered with gold swirls (if you know me, you would know how much I LOVE buying notebooks and pens!) and I entitled it “My Letters to God”.

    On the first page, I wrote “Within these pages are my personal letters to God, my thoughts, my hopes, my fears, my worries, my prayers, my pleas, and everything in between…”

    So, my letters to God would be on my ceiling too.

    I always thought that it would be cool to be allowed to write on your walls and ceiling, but I guess my blog will have to suffice! πŸ™‚

    Thanks for posting this, and making me seem normal! Have a great day!

    -Mary

    http://maryswoolgathering.blogspot.com/

    • Mary, I can so relate to you. I also have journals upon journals of such random, funny, heartbreaking, hideous, and outright weird thoughts that I write down from time to time. As for stories…. I can never sit still long enough to finish them. I started a 3-part story series on Grow Up! months ago titled “The King and the Commoner” (part 1 and part 2) that I have yet to finish part 3 of (in fact, part 3 is STILL sitting in my drafts folder. One day I’m gonna finish that story… πŸ˜‰ to my surprise and everyone else’s)! πŸ™‚ haha.

      Keep writing your thoughts down… you never know what may come of them in the future!

      God bless!

  4. I think I’m beyond writing on the ceiling, but an idea for you.

    How about a wall and how about stick-it notes? or Blue-tac? Now, if that isn’t acceptable to your parents, maybe you could drape the wall with a light material and PIN the notes to it.
    Just a thought.

    • Those are some great ideas! I especially like the light-material drape idea.
      I used to use sticky tac, but it was leaving little grease marks on my wallpaper and paint.
      It’s not so much of a big deal now… notebooks and cyberspace seem to work quite well. πŸ™‚

  1. Pingback: My Ceiling {clumsy Christian.} « Grow Up!

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