Open letter to the male population.

Dear male population,

Let me first offer why I addressed this to the “male population” verses to just guys, or boys, or men. While I consider boys to be a general term for the male population, some believe it refers to the younger, immature ones. While guys typically refers to the “too cool,” still single, floaters who can’t make up their minds. The term “men,” on the other hand, is usually used to refer to those who are older, or at least more mature, and have some sort of stability in their life – emotionally, financially, etc. Well, I’m speaking to all of the aforementioned groups; hence, “male population.” However, before I continue forward in my letter, I want to provide a disclaimer: nothing has personally happened in my life that this letter is in retaliation to. No one has done anything to hurt me. This letter is not being written with a particular person(s) in mind. With that said, I will move on…

I have been mulling this over in my mind for a while, and have finally decided to come out with it. It’s time someone said it (again).

Guys, you’re a treasure – really. You’re each something only you can be, and that’s a wonderful thing. You are to be the strength and the security in a relationship – the provider, protector, partner, pants-wearer. Are you going to fail sometimes? Absolutely. You’re human, and asking you for perfection would be like asking a rhinoceros to fly – it’s just not going to happen. With that said, however, there are a few areas that I have noticed you are failing in, and I want to help you if you’ll let me.

As men, your job is to pursue the girl. The girl’s job is to be pursued. There’s to be a chase involved – because that which is worked for and struggled for is more precious to the earner than that which is simply received for free. A car that is given to you won’t mean nearly as much as one the one that you worked, sweated, and bled for. So it is with women. Believe it or not, girls want to be chased – even when they run away from you, or play hard to get, it’s because they want you to chase after them and prove that you really want to win their heart. Accept the challenge; embrace the opportunity to fight for something you really want; the goal is to passionately pursue her, with dignity, with the prize of winning her love, her trust, and her future. As a side note: if the girl presents herself as an easy catch, then she’s probably not the one you want to be pursuing. You want the girl who makes you work for her – the mystery, the challenge, the reward of your efforts.

Most of the guys I know want a girl who is “into” the same things they are into – sports, video games, hunting, big trucks – and there is nothing wrong with that. I’ll admit it, I like all of those things and more. In fact, most of the time I would rather hang out with a group of guy friends than a group of girls because there’s normally less drama involved. I can be cool like one of the guys, but I’m not “one of the guys” – there is a huge difference. When the quarterback scores the big touchdown that wins the game, don’t elbow her and slap her on the back in your excitement. Don’t treat her just like one of your “buddies” – she’s a lady, regardless of the clothes she’s wearing and the way she styled her hair. Don’t scream in her ear and do the “muscle growl” in her face when you beat the high score of Grand Theft Auto IV. Congratulations, you won… but that’s a lady sitting next to you – treat her like one. Don’t get me wrong… I am just as competitive as the next person, perhaps more so. There is nothing I like more than crushing the opposing team in a volleyball game, than being on the winning team during a paintball match, than mastering the latest trick in some extreme sport – but you won’t catch me doing a chest bump with the guy next to me in celebration of my latest accomplishment.

Granted, I know some girls are tomboys – I’ve been there. I spent the first 14 years of my life wishing I was a boy. I wore the baggy clothes, picked fights with the guys, attempted to join the boys basketball team, learned karate, and skateboarded with the best of them in my neighborhood. A girl may belch and whistle with you, but deep down inside she wants to be treated like a lady, she wants to be treated with respect – regardless of whether she admits it or not. Maybe if you treated her more like a lady, she’d act more like one. Chances are, eventually she’s going to grow out of her tomboyish ways and turn into a very beautiful, classy woman… a woman you may want to marry someday. Don’t ruin your chance with her future by treating her like just another “guy” now.

In closing my letter, I want to encourage you defend women and look after them. Sure, we can hold our own; but there’s something reassuring about a guy sticking up for you. There’s something honorable about a man who still holds a door for a lady, or pushes the chair in for her when she sits down. Go the extra mile to treat a lady as what she is – a treasure, something special that God created as a gift for men. I promise you, if you treat a lady with respect and honor, she will return the favor.

Let men be men, and let ladies be ladies.

Sincerely,
Heather Joy

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Posted on December 9, 2010, in Open Letter, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Well done! I heartily endorse all you have said. (Was I allowed to read it, being a lady?)

    We (the female population) lost so much through the so-called womens liberation movement. It is good to see a younger lady speaking this way.

    I am reminded of an older gentleman who held a door open for a young lady with parcels. She was evidently of the “newer” breed and berated him for treating her differently because she was a woman. He gently replied, “I did not hold the door open for you because you are a lady, but because I am a gentleman.”

    Let men be gents and ladies be ladies, and long live the difference.

    • You were most certainly allowed to read the letter! 🙂
      I whole-heartedly agree with you about the whole womens liberation movement. If women would only learn to submit under authority and realize the order that God has established for each gender… *sigh*
      We women have come a longggg way… and have a lot to learn.
      God Bless you.

  2. ‘As men, your job is to pursue the girl. The girl’s job is to be pursued. There’s to be a chase involved – because that which is worked for and struggled for is more precious to the earner than that which is simply received for free. A car that is given to you won’t mean nearly as much as one the one that you worked, sweated, and bled for.’

    Good point.

    But the male/man needs to develop the skill to know whether that particular female/woman should be pursued. There are issues of mutual attraction and compatibility within the Christian worldview to consider. Thx.

    Dr. Russ Murray/Russ

    • “But the male/man needs to develop the skill to know whether that particular female/woman should be pursued.” — I believe if the fellow is in tune with the will and mind of God, then this will fall into place. If a man trusts his own judgement, then he will surely fall.

      God knows… and He has a plan.

  3. I try, but it can be hard sometimes.

  4. I know that i ticked you off, and so i was hesitant to say anything on your blog….but i wanted to say that this was a great post, needed to be said

  1. Pingback: Open letter to the male population. (via Grow Up!) | My Blog

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