Sometimes I cry.

You ever have one of those days where the sun is shining brightly outside, smiling faces surround you, and you can sense the presence of God… yet it feels like there’s a gray raincloud hovering over your head? You know that God loves you, you know He’s been good to you, you know that everything’s going to be okay… but there’s a quiet hurt deep within that you can’t seem to put your finger on…? That was me yesterday. That’s me today.

I feel like one storm after another keeps hitting me. And I get back up, I trust God… then another storm hits.

I want to scream out: “God, it isn’t fair! I don’t deserve this!”

And it’s then that I hear His Son answer for Him: “Fair…?”

I have nothing to complain about. God has been beyond good to me – I couldn’t count the blessings He’s given to me even if I tried. But sometimes there’s something else pulling on me… something I can’t pinpoint. Sometimes there’s a hurt that I can’t explain, there’s a sadness that has no reason. Sometimes there’s a pain in my heart. Sometimes I cry.

[1] Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.
[2] From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
[3] For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.
[4] I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.
[5] For thou, O God, hast heard my vows: thou hast given me the heritage of those that fear thy name.
[6] Thou wilt prolong the king’s life: and his years as many generations.
[7] He shall abide before God for ever: O prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him.
[8] So will I sing praise unto thy name for ever, that I may daily perform my vows.
~ Psalm 61

Pray for me.


Posted on November 7, 2010, in Personal, YouTube & Videos and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Good post. I’ve been in a similar place today, not that it has been THAT bad, but I think it’s all about relationships. If we get on with those close to us all is wonderful, but when those who are close to us appear to be at a distance we’ve got a problem.

    So then we have to forgive, repent, and draw close all over again. Except sometimes this is more than the work of a moment.


    • You are so right, my friend.
      I think one of my biggest problems is I put too much faith in people. I look to *people* to help me and make me feel better… instead of turning to the only One Who can really heal – my Savior.
      Thank you for visiting, and for your encouraging comment.
      God bless,
      Heather Joy

  2. Hi,

    I came across this blog (and your old one) a week ago, and I just want to say that it is nice to see other young Christians who are real, and who are just like me with their struggles and triumphs.

    I read several of your posts, and the following day I was assigned in Bible class to memorize several verses from Isaiah, and when I read them, I automatically thought of you, a stranger whom God placed on my heart.

    The following verse is Isaiah 43:2, and I hope that it touches your heart like it did mine:

    “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. ”

    See, *I know that I’m preaching to the choir here* but God doesn’t promise that our lives will be a bed of roses (besides, who wants to lay on thorns? πŸ™‚ but He DOES promise us that He will ALWAYS be there!! So whatever we go through, HE is going through it too, at the same time!! He can honestly say that HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT WE’RE GOING THROUGH!!

    Well, God put that verse on my heart to share with you, so I hope that it encourages you! I will pray that God will give you mercy, peace, grace and strength through all of this, and that His name is glorified!

    I hope that your week gets better!

    Sincerely, another young sister-in-Christ

    • “So whatever we go through, HE is going through it too, at the same time!”
      I had never thought about it quite that way before! I mean, I know He said He’d be with me at all times… but I never actually thought about Him “going through” the struggle with me – feeling the same pain.
      I love it. How comforting. I love those verses in Isaiah. πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for sharing them with me – they encouraged my heart.
      God bless you, Mary.
      ~ Heather Joy

      • Well, I think that as Christians, knowing that God said that He’d be with us, we tend to forget that He is enduring our pains too! It is interesting to note that although NONE of our pain can be compared to His, He still sympathizes with us, and He still helps us through it.

        It is easy for us to say and to think that no one knows what we’re going through, which, of course is untrue. Yet we STILL complain.

        But during the crucifixion, GOD had every right to complain that no one knew what He went through (because to this day, no one TRULY UNDERSTANDS what God the Father endured, to see His HOLY Son crucified for OUR sins) but He did not. Yet he would have been justified to do so, He didn’t.

        Isn’t that interesting?

        Now, I’m not saying that we can’t come to God with all of our troubles, because indeed, the Bible says to do so, but I just found above mentioned interesting…

        • You are right on, Mary. Thank you so very much for your comments on this topic – they have been so encouraging and truthful.
          May God continue to richly bless you.
          ~ Heather Joy

  3. Heather,
    Both you and the other young woman Mary C. seem to be living in my house and going through the EXACT things that I am going through….lol. I am wayyyy older than you but the struggles are still very real and the devil keeps coming after you day after day after day. It reminds me of the song Day by Day from Godspell… Oh dear Lord, three things I pray. To see Thee more clearly, to love Thee more dearly, to follow Thee more nearly….day by day. The only way to see Him more clearly is to keep your “focus” on God and not on man. I made that mistake for many many years and had a very unhappy marriage because I looked to man for my happiness. Well, it doesn’t happen and never will. I don’t mean to sound harsh or bitter….just speaking the truth in love. Also, in order to love Him more dearly, we MUST follow Him more nearly. Often, we feel like we want to lead (go the way we want to go) but if we ever want to have real happiness, we must learn to follow…… Lord knows the way through the wilderness, all I have to do is follow. Strength for today is mine all the way and all I need for tomorrow….My Lord knows the way through the wilderness. All I have to do is follow. Sound easy? It is…..if you let God do the driving!!!
    I can’t help but wonder, “What are you trying to prepare me for Lord? What lesson must I learn to do your perfect will….which is what I truly want in my life!! What wonderous thing am I goin to be a part of that will bring glory and honor to YOU? I can’t wait to find out!!!!

    • All of what you said in your comment brought one thought to my mind:
      “Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.”

      It’s true – those wildernesses of heartache and questions are hard… but God is faithful, the Lord will stand beside us.
      Thank you for your sweet comment. May Jesus Christ be glorified in our lives – willing to take part of whatever He wills, no matter the cost to ourselves.

      Heather Joy

  4. β€œWorry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows; it empties today of its strength.” – Corrie Ten Boom

    Crazy quote, huh? But I get it.


    • And if anyone had cause to worry, it would be Corrie Ten Boom.
      She hit the nail on the head, too, didn’t she. Worrying and fretting about things is emotionally draining. I get it too.

      I’m glad I have a Savior Who not only causes the winds and waves of nature, but also the winds and waves in my soul.

      I hope you’re having a wonderful day!

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