Repost: No thoughts of looking back.
January 18, 2007
It all started in December of 2004 when my dad felt God calling our family to move to a different church. Our date of departure was December 26, 2004 – not an ideal Christmas present to be sure.
We started visiting a church of like faith in Livonia, Michigan. After a couple of months the youth pastor asked me to go to youth camp with them at Indian Creek Baptist Camp. I told him no without hesitation, but quickly changed my mind after the camp had been described to me in full detail. I went to camp, not to grow spiritually, but to have fun. God had other plans though. I was able to quench the Spirit for the first couple days, but one night I was broken. That night I got my life right with God, surrendered to His will, and promised Him that I would go to Bible College. That was in June.
Things went well and I continued to grow in the Lord until February of 2006 came. This time, at a youth winter camp, God placed a calling on my life that I didn’t want to surrender to. So I turned and ran, fast and hard. It was all down hill from there. From February till the end of July, I lived a life that I take no pleasure or pride in remembering. Not caring what God thought or how much I hurt Him, I chose to do and say whatever I wanted and make friends with whomever I wanted. I put an utter stop to my daily relationship with the Lord. On the outside I still looked good, but on the inside I was an absolute mess controlled by sin with no peace whatsoever. After a while of living like this I wanted to be right with God – or at least I wanted peace at any cost – but He seemed so far away and like He had a deaf ear turned toward me. I longed to feel conviction again, but I was dead to any such feeling. During those months I finished up my senior year of high school, graduated, and applied to a secular college. I was accepted into that college and given an academic scholarship! My course of study was to be Graphic Communications – a field that would secure me a very well-paying job, great benefits, and quite the comfortable lifestyle. All my previous dreams and plans didn’t seem to matter anymore.
Come mid-July, as my youth group prepared to go on a mission’s trip, I knew that if I went with my heart not right with the Lord I would hinder any work that He might do through us. I got my life right with Him just days before boarding the airplane to go to Vancouver, BC/Seattle, WA. While on the Mission’s trip, God reminded me of the promise I had made to Him to attend Bible College. But I was already registered at the other college and even if I did go to Bible College, it would be too late to attend the fall semester – school started in only two and a half weeks!
When I returned from the Mission’s trip a week later, I told God that if He wanted me to attend Bible College this semester, He would have to do something really miraculous – and He did! He placed a burden on my dad’s heart to talk to me about my college plans just once more before we dived into the school year with no thoughts of looking back. It was then that I told my dad of the promise I had made to God. Within two days it was decided that Crown College was the place for me – only if God provided the money, and He did. My dad had bought a house that he was going to repair and put up for sale again to make a profit, and it sold in that week and a half before school started. The last hurdle to overcome was the college paperwork – which finished being processed the day before I had to be in the dorm.
When God has a plan, He makes it work. He truly makes the impossible possible; and when we have given up on our own dreams and settle for less, He gives us the dreams that are in His heart for us. I made mistakes, but I can’t dwell on thoughts of them. I have been forgiven, I’m content in the will of God, and I’m satisfied with a perfect peace that only comes from Him. I have no thoughts of looking back – only thoughts of moving forward.
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I found this in my old archives – it was a paper I wrote for a speech class I took while I was at Crown College of the Bible (Powell, TN). A lot sure has happened since then! Three and a half years have flown by me… and God is still just as amazing and still just as able to work miracles now as He was back then. Isn’t He wonderful? Isn’t He good? I thank the Lord that He never gave up on me. When I played the part of the prodigal and left the place where I should be, He lovingly waited for me to come back again. and again. and…
He’s never failed to meet a need. He’s never tried to hurt my future. He’s never turned His back. He’s continued being God as He always was, doing what He always does. We have a great Savior; nothing compares to Him!